Divorce is often a highly emotional process, but it does not have to be a fight. In Hawaii, where the spirit of family is woven into the culture, maintaining civility in your divorce is good for you, your spouse, your family, and the surrounding community.
Here are some tips on how to keep your divorce civil and focused on a mutually agreeable outcome.
Communication
Communicating and listening well are very important in divorce. Approach your spouse with a willingness to understand them, hear them and work with them.
Discuss your concerns with respect and focus on the practical aspects of the separation instead of the emotional component.
Big-picture thinking
Always remember that the goal is to reach a mutually agreeable solution, and fighting with your partner will only make things more complicated. If you have children, consider the importance of co-parenting and your child’s best interests.
Empathy
While divorce is painful, and it is understandable to feel a whole range of emotions, remember that your spouse is going through the same situation and will most likely also have a hard time, even if you do not see it.
Try to understand your spouse and acknowledge their emotions when they express them.
Solutions
Focusing on the solution rather than how you feel is always a good idea. It is easy to get caught up in the moment’s emotions, but impulsively acting on those emotions can ultimately hurt you.
Professional help
Consider working with an attorney with experience in divorce, which will make the process much easier.
Once you have an attorney, allow them to communicate with the other side and discuss important matters with them before going to your spouse. Your attorney is here to guide you during this challenging time.